Hey, sexy ladies ;) Today we wanted to give all of you strong, independent women a solid way to break up with your significant other. If you are tired of them, annoyed with them, heading to college, found someone else, realize that it’s your time to play for some other team or blatantly don’t want to deal with the responsibilities of a relationship (all valid reasons), this is your How-To guide. Here are a few suggestions from your favorite relationship advice gurus on how to slide your way out of someone’s DMs:
• Talk it out IN-PERSON!
• Stand your ground. Don’t let the other person guilt you into backing out.
• Discuss how you want to move on from there. Will you still stay friends or become worst enemies?
• Give a reason why. Even if you don’t have one, make it up.
• Show emotion. Give a tear or two.
• Talk to someone afterwards. Our suggestions are Mr. Lynch, the cashier at Safeway, Maddie McCormick/Victoria Velasco, Mrs. Craig, etc.
• Don’t leave a voicemail. You will end up on someone’s mixtape.
• Don’t try to be sassy with an ending line like “good luck trying to find another person as perfect as me” or “I didn’t like you that much anyway.” You will end up getting made fun of and not taken seriously. Yikes!
• Don’t ghost the person; that’s immature. Let them know you don’t want to see them anymore, and don’t make it confusing.
• Don’t say you still love them.
• Don’t cry for too long. I cried for a solid hour during math class after my first boyfriend broke up with me over Snapchat. Fortunately, Mrs. Takis was pretty understanding about it.
Here are some post-break up songs:
• “Break Up With Your Girlfriend, I’m Bored,” Ariana Grande
• "Forget You," Cee Lo Green
• "Irreplaceable," Beyonce
• “Before He Cheats,” Carrie Underwood
• "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together," Taylor Swift
• “Hundred,” Khalid
• “Needed Me,” Rihanna
Here are some post-break up movies:
• “The Break-Up”
• “Legally Blonde”
• “Forgetting Sarah Marshall”
• “High School Musical 2”
• “Silver Linings Playbook”
Here are some post-break up snacks:
• Haagen-Dazs Belgian Chocolate Ice Cream
• Act II Popcorn (Extra Butter)
• Grilled Cheese and Tomato Soup
• Male Tears
• Cream Cheese Brownies
• Milk chocolate morsels